Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Congratulations! We have a period
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
