I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
