I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize