she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
