Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
