I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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