no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
