Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
