We're like a lot better than the average bears
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
