Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
