What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
