My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
