either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
