Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
