She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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