It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He better not be in your backpack
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
