are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
