how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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