I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
