it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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