he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
