the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
