he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
