Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
