so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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