one might say we're banned from that church
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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