tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
