ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
