just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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