I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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