i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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