THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
