Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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