dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
