Me too!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
