I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
