I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
