Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
