no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
