Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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