I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
