Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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