we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
