Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
