dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
