This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You're earring is so big in my mouth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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