we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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