but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sext me about skeletons
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
