in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
