i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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