We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
