Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
