Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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