He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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