Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
