okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
