So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
