If that was your dad, he is hot
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
