Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
